Turkey

How to tip?

In most of the hotels and restaurants service is not included in the bill, and you should calculate and leave a tip of around 10% for most services, and 15% in finer dining establishments if the service warrants it. Naturally, tipping is expected for each service rendered since many people are dependent on such an extra income to remedy the ills of their low salaries.
If your car has been cleaned and polished where you are staying or at a gas station Turkish Lira equivalent of around US$ 1-2 would be a nice tip. It may be a good idea to let the Kapici keep the change from time to time, when you have sent him out for shopping. Also keep in mind to tip the youngsters carrying your bags in the markets and your luggage in the hotels.

When you buy fish from the Balikçi the gutting and cleaning of the fish by the attendant is included in the price. In coiffeurs and barbers it is customary to tip the person who serves you (if not the owner of the shop) depending on the work involved.

At theatres and cinemas, ushers expect a small tip after showing you to your seat, although it is not mandatory.

In general, the right kind of tipping can open many doors, especially in Turkey. You may want to keep this in mind.

Please note that tipping the taxi drivers is not the custom in Turkey.

Addressing

When you settle in Turkey you are going to notice that people usually address eachother with their first names. Dont be surprised because people were mentioned with their first and their fathers name during the 700-year Ottoman Empire. Surname law is accepted in 1934 after the Republic of Turkey is establish.

Hanim is added to the first name while addressing to ladies while Bey is added to their first name when addressing to men. For example the lady whose name is Binnur Kandemir is called Binnur Hanim and the man whose name is Ali Parlar is called Ali Bey. Turks usually discriminate on this subject when speaking to foreigners and non-Moslems. Vaçe Muhtaryan is generally addressed as Bay Vaçe or Monsieur Vaçe or Michele Tengizman is addressed as Bayan Michele or Madame Michele. During business conferences or meetings people speak to each other Sayin followed by their surnames ignoring the gender (i.e. Defne Tesal is called Sayin Tesal)

Sometimes people are addressed by their professions. For example you can address a female lawyer as Avukat (literally lawyer) Hanim or a male doctor as Doktor Bey. You can call a male personnel on officical sites as Memur Bey, however it is not proper to call the female personnel as Memur Hanim. Any serviceman whether he is electrician, upholsterer or plumber is addressed as usta. The taxi, dolmus and bus drivers can be addressed as Soför Bey.

The salesman in çarsis and pazars usually address to customers with names used for relatives. They speak to young customers abla, abi and to middle-aged customers teyze or amca and to the older customers as anne, baba, nine or dede. This kind of addressing has nothing to do with establishing any family relationship but was made up just for addressing easiness…

Food Habits

A family dinner
Turkish breakfasts consists of cheese, olives, butter, jam, loaves of fresh bread and of course, the indispensable abundant flow of tea. The breakfast in rural areas and of the poor, is soup. To offer tea, made from “teabags”, to Turks who love to drink tea, is considered an insult. Turks prepare tea by brewing it in a teapot, preferably porcelain, over a kettle. They even order tea at Cafes. Tea is served in porcelain cups at the major hotels and cafes however Turks prefer to have their tea served in glass cups. Although instant coffee, which Turks call “Nescafe”, is quite common, nothing can take the place of a good cup of tea. You’ll be introduced to the “Tea Garden” concept here in Turkey. These are open-air gardens, usually located in places with stunning panoramic views. Tea gardens (çay bahçesi) also serve fruit juice and colas, sandwiches and “tost” (e.g. cheese toast, cheese and sausage toast). More traditional teas gardens serve their tea with a Semaver (a metal object of old Russian culture) and in some tea gardens you’ll even find nargile (hubble bubble water pipe) for smoking an array of fruit flavored tobacco. The tea gardens of Moda and Emirgan are popular choices among café goers.
Vegetables have an important place in Turkish cuisine. They can either be cooked with olive oil and served cool or with butter/margarine and a little meat, and served hot. The star of the kitchen is a different sort of rice, called pilav (pilaf). A good pilaf is the proof of a housewife’s cooking skills. If you see a person eating bread with pilaf or macaroni, in any part of the world, you can be pretty sure he/she is a Turk. Bread is the indispensable part of every Turkish meal. It is eaten whether or not it is particularly suited to the meal. Besides bread, Turks drink water during their meals. Even if they are drinking alcoholic beverages it is a good idea to put a decanter full of water on the table. Potable water is distributed in several ways in Turkey, via large glass or plastic demijohns or sold in plastic or glass bottles. Moreover Turks drink water from the fountains found throughout parts of town (the water is clean and potable).

Turkish coffee , enjoyed after meals and/or especially as a “morning coffee” around 11 o’clock by housewives, is served in small porcelain cups resembling espresso cups. It is served without sugar (sade), with some sugar (orta) or sweet (sekerli). In Turkey, there is a famous saying: "A cup of coffee commits one to forty years of friendship" – this shows just how special Turkish coffee is among Turks. In Turkey, it is a common practice to have your coffee grounds read, after you have finished. If you ask around, you are sure to find someone who purports to be a fortuneteller. You may be surprised by accuracy of the things this person tells you, when they don’t know anything about you or your life. A favorite statement here is: “Don’t believe fortune telling but don’t be left without fortune telling.”

Body Language
Turks like to communicate with their hands and arms and they can surely compete with Italians on this matter. Even if you don’t know a word in Turkish it is possible for you to get along with a Turk. Bow your head for ‘yes’ and raise your head backwards for ‘No’. If you raise your shoulders and open your arms it means, “I don’t know”. In order to show that you trust him/her you can tap his/her shoulders. Moreover, Turks like kissing each other. It is customary to kiss each other's cheeks upon greeting and when leaving - men also do this, however it is presumed that there is some level of familiarity, otherwise, a simple handshake would suffice.
Besides Turks generate strange sounds as “hiii” or “hi hi” for yes. They even make fun of with the “çik” sound they use for “No”. If you unite all your fingers and swing your hand up and down everybody will understand that you loved the meal. Above all if you close your eyes and make “mmmmm” sound they will even think you are a Turk.

There are some hand signs considered impolite by Turks. The first one is to put your thumb between your index and middle finger while your hand is in a fist position. The other is the middle finger standing upright again when your hand is in a fist. They both symbolize the male sex organ and mean, “f..k you!”. Another sign is the meeting of your thumb and index finger forming a circle. While in most countries this means “Okay”, in Turkey it means homosexual and is considered a big insult, and has been the cause of more than one murder (!!!) among especially despot Turkish men. If you point to your head with your index finger it means “Are you an idiot?”, again if you put your index finger to your temple and move it like screwing it means “Are you crazy?”. While you are driving if you raise your hand and wave it about, it will indicate the car following yours, “What’s the matter?” and it is sure to anger most drivers.

A note of caution: Foreigners would be well advised to avoid using any offensive hand signals or any motions that could possibly be construed as being rude, insulting or aggressive. Such acts could lead to serious consequences and even personal injury as wounded egos fueled by excessive testosterone will often seek what they perceive to be justice. Avoid meaningless confrontations - better to just walk away from trouble.

Hidrellez - Spring Feast

Nahil Tree
Hidrellez is a seasonal festival in Turkey for the celebration of arrival of spring and awakening of nature and various activities are organized at the night of May 5th . Moreover The Orthodox celebrates this day as Hagia Georgi, and Catholics as St. George's Day.
In folkloric traditions it is the day on which Prophets Hizir and Ilyas met with each other on earth to awaken the nature. The words Hizir and Ilyas have since fused together pronounced as Hidrellez.

People prepare beforehand for Hidrellez celebrations in villages and small towns, and recently in major cities. These preparations cover house cleaning, clean clothing, food and drink. Before Hidrellez Day, houses are cleaned from top to bottom, since people think that Hizir will not visit houses that are not clean.

Various practices are performed on Hidrellez night in the belief that Hizir will bring blessing and abundance to the places he visits and the things he touches. Food bowls, pantries and purses are left open.And definitely a window is left open for Hizir to visit the house. Those who want a house, or garden believe that Hizir will help them obtain such things if they make a small model of what they want. Some also hang models and papers on which their wishes are written on a Nahil Tree. It is also a tradition to throw those papers into a running water or sea enabling Hizir to pick them and to carry out the wishes written.

There are several activities for Hidrellez in Istanbul this year. The Armada Hotel, Cankurtaran organizes the third Hidrellez Festival and the Ahirkapi Street is closed to vehicle traffic. And you can have food from the stands and dance all night long with the Great Roman Orchestra. You can also hang your wishes to the Nahil Tree set in the middle of the street.

Hidrellez celebrations will also take place at Sadabad in Kagithane and on Abdi Ipekçi Caddesi at Nisantasi.

Home Visits

Turkish slippers, terlik
In general shoes are taken off when entering a Turk’s home. In the larger cities and among the better to-do families, this is not always necessary however. It is usually the custom of small settlements and conservative families. In general Turks wear slippers at home. Housewives tend to compete with each other on cleanliness and will certainly not let you in with your shoes on. At any rate, in a country whose streets are disorderly and dirty, it makes good sense to leave your shoes at the door and slide into a pair of comfortable slippers. Almost all Turkish homes will have a pair of “guest slippers”, reserved just for visitors. And if the idea of wearing someone else’s shoes does not appeal to you, you can always tote along a pair of your own, which will not be considered out of the ordinary.
Kissing the hands of older family members is an obligatory ceremony of Bayram. Some families get together at the house of the oldest family member and have a “Bayram meal” all together. The elders give candy or money to those youngsters kissing their hands. In the past, gold coins and money were given however unfortunately this habit has been essentially lost, due to financial reasons.

Among Turks, kissing the hand of an elder and touching it to your forehead is a sign of respect shown to elders. Those in esteemed or reputable positions in society, and the elderly, enjoy having their hands kissed. For example, primary school teachers wait for their students to kiss their hands after graduation. This also is an indispensable custom practiced during Bayrams. The older members of the family give candies and some pocket money to the children who kissed their hands. If you are married to a Turk and visiting his family members you are expected to follow your husband in kissing hands. In some families the younger members do not smoke or cross their legs when together with the older members of the family. It will be easier for you if you discuss with your spouse what sort of customs and behavior you are expected to follow. (Worth thinking about: As you attempt to please others, be careful not to lose your own identity and uniqueness). Kissing hands of ladies in a French manner is not a common habit.

Turks are very generous and can be rather insistent when offering food in particular. It is best to just accept what is offered to you, with a smile, even though you may be full. If you don’t accept, you will undoubtedly hear comments like “Didn’t you like it?” or “Was it bad?”, and you even risk offending your host. If it is your second, third, or fourth helping, at some point you are bound to be genuinely full and you are not obliged to “clean your plate”.

Relations with Relatives

A family meeting
There are times when it will seem as if everyone you meet is related somehow to one another. This is due to close marriage with relatives, but is a tradition that is changing and today prevalent particularly among rural and lower income families. Below is a list of names used to describe each relative, based on his/her position, in reference to your own. Foreigners often find it shocking to learn how many names there are for Aunt and Uncle!!
The core family: anne (mother), baba (father), kiz çocuk (daughter), erkek çocuk (son), agabey (older brother), abla (older sister).

The relatives on the mother’s side are anneanne (grandmoth er), dede (grandfather), teyze (aunt - mother’s sister), eniste (teyze’s husband), dayi (uncle - mother’s brother), yenge (dayi’s wife), yegen (sister’s and brother’s child) and kuzen (teyze’s and dayi’s children).

The relatives on the father’s side are babaanne (grandmother), büyükbaba (grandfather), hala (aunt - father’s sister), eniste (hala’s husband), amca (uncle – father’s brother), yenge (amca’s wife), yegen (sister’s and brother’s child), kuzen (hala’s and amca’s children).

Elti (two brothers’ wives to each other), baldiz (the wife’s sister), bacanak (two sisters’ husbands to each other), kayinço (kayinbirader) (the wife’s brother), görümce (the husband’s sister) kayinvalide or kaynana (mother-in-law), kayinpeder or kaynata (father in law) are the relatives you have by marriage.

Some of the close friends of the family called teyze and amca by the children; like Jane teyze, Richard amca. Moreover it is common to hear some sellers addressing you as amca, teyze, abla, abi.

Toilet Habits

There are two kinds of toilets in Turkey, oriental and western.

The oriental style toilet is the traditional toilet which has two platforms on which to put your feet and a hole in the middle in which to do your business. There is also a small tap on the wall; use this to fill the provided bucket with water, and then pour the water into the hole, essentially ‘flushing’ the toilet. How to use the oriental toilet: place your feet on the platforms, squat down and try to adjust yourself over the hole. The most important point to remember is to pull your pants or skirt out of the way, so as not to wet them. Though challenging for most foreigners to use, these oriental style toilets are actually quite hygienic.

In the large cities, western toilets are found almost everywhere, but throughout the countryside, at gas stations and road side stops, oriental toilets are the norm. There are almost always separate sections for men and women; sometimes you have to pay to use public toilets, although the charge is minimal. Generally, near each mosque there is one public toilet. However public toilets are always better in hotels and restaurants. The small water pipes coming from the back of the western style toilets dispense water and it is used as a simplified bidet, for cleansing purposes. Toilet paper is used for drying oneself, and it is worth noting that toilet paper is often non-existent in public facilities, so bring your own supply.

In the pastin houses with oriental toilets (as well as in hamams), it was customary to wear and nalin (clogs) into the toilets. Clogs were put on with shoes or slippers; the idea was that you would not be wandering around the house with the same shoes or slippers that you had worn into the toilets.